Boone's Farm Bruise

Society has done a great job brainwashing us all to believe good women partake in a defined set of rules. Mind your manners. Not too much cleavage! Cross your legs. Be a good girl. Don't sleep around. Find yourself a good man. Cook. Clean.  Unlike the acceptable behavior that is attached to our male counter parts with casual dating, women are considered to be promiscuous and dirty when they assume the exact same role.

I was willing to assume the risk of the negative stereotypes in order to avoid another heartbreak. Truth is I was willing to do almost anything in order to avoid that type of pain again.  After Carlton's shenanigans with Karin I was constantly questioning my own judgment and spent way too much time trying to determine how I became the 'cheat on type.' My goal was to make life with Lee different by dating multiple guys and preventing myself from looking too available or desperate. Regardless, I had no plans on really taking the others seriously and made it a point to always refer to them as "just a friend."  However, when I decided on dating multiple men, I had no idea that there would be four of them; it just fell in my lap that way.

Initially, I was having a good time being pursued by more than one guy but it quickly became very time-consuming and resulted in me spending less time with Lee who I was hoping would ask me to be his girl. Instead of dropping down my count, I became creative and prioritized each beau according to the day of the week. Since Lee was my true interest I made myself available to him every Friday and Saturday and the remaining guys consumed the other days during the week. That left only Sunday as my true day of rest. Occasionally, things got a little complicated when Lee started asking questions about my unavailability during the week, but I blamed it on my dire need to study.  It wasn't a complete lie, sometimes I actually would study before hanging out with one of the fellas.

After a few weeks on my dating extravaganza I was not only becoming an expert at my social life calendar, I was actually beginning to like my Thursday gent. However, just as I was getting a full grasp on my new life, someone blew over my castle.

Her name was Roshawn. No, no, no. I know exactly what you are thinking-she was not another girl who would steal my man. Roshawn was my dear friend; such a sweet and gentle soul who loved to have a good time. We shared the same majors and had much in common so we studied together several times a week. One Sunday night after studying we opened a bottle of Strawberry Boone's Farm to my demise. One drink led to another and before I knew it we were both giggling like schoolgirls on a Merry-go-round. After my bladder was full of the ghetto punch, I ran down the hall to the bathroom.

Then the phone rang.

"Roshawn get the phone." I heard her stumble towards the phone then answer it.

"Who is it...tell them I will call them right back"

I was hollering at her from the bathroom so instead of coming to the door she hollered back down the hall. When I heard what she was yelling I jumped off of the toilet so fast I nearly tripped over my own pants. It was apparent she had no idea who was on the phone by her drunken guessing game of loudly calling out each beaux name from my Monday through Thursday crew.

By the time I made it back to the living room, she had already listed everyone except Lee while still holding the phone in her hand. I gave her a death stare as I grabbed the phone, to which she realized her tragic mistake and whispered,

 "Oops....I’m so sorry."

 

In our Boone’s Farm induced state of mind, we both thought it was a whisper but soon found out it was almost as loud as her recount of my four men. I really wanted to just hang up the phone and act as if it never happened but another part of me was desperately hoping it wasn't Lee. I didn't want it to be Thursday either but in order to find out I had to answer the call. I paused then pulled the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" I tried to sound cool even though my throat was dry and my stomach was churning.

"Wow, I'm sorry too.  Enjoy yourself," the phone hung up before I could respond but not without first realizing who held the other end.

It was Lee.

Certainly not

Life has a funny way of proving you wrong about everything you were once so certain. I was certain Karin was confused when she called my boyfriend hers. Mostly because I had used every scintilla of his non- thuggish time playing his wifey... without the ring. The fact that I knew all of his friends and family increased my sense of security in our relationship. So when I found a picture of him and her I convinced myself that it was nothing more than a family photo. Yet, I immediately felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The feeling intensified as soon as I looked into his eyes. They held the same look that most toddlers have when they soil their clean pampers right after being taken off of the potty. A look combined with the fear of the consequences for being honest competing with the desire to remove the uncomfortable wetness in their pants. Carlton looked more pathetic then a potty training toddler as he tried to explain away the evidence of his infidelity. However, like most women, I knew that he was feeding me lies. When GOD created man, HE knew that we would need an internal lie detector in order to stay on top of things. So long before our exit from the womb, HE gifted us with a sixth sense specially designed to detect when our man is lying- even before he utters a word. Unfortunately, we don't normally use this gift until it’s too late and our hearts are shattered into pieces.

I'm certain I'd still be dealing with Carlton's inevitable drama if it weren't for my going away to college.  But once I touched down on campus, my mind was blown by the plethora of masculine options. The college boys made Carlton look like a cartoon character from the old Nickelodeon Show "Ren and Stimpy." They were much better in every sense. However, Carlton didn't care; he refused to give up and demonstrated this by calling me every day. Each conversation started out different but would always end the same with me telling him it was over. There was only one person whose call I was waiting.

His name was Lee and initially all I could remember was that he was fine. I first noticed him after picking up a part time job at the university's athletic gym to make extra cash. Within a few days I had his schedule memorized and made certain I was at the towel counter to hand him a towel before he hit the basketball court. Like a stalker, I knew when his game was over so I would resume my position back at the counter and anxiously wait for his return. For months we never even spoke but our eyes always connected longer than usual. Each time, whether he was coming or going, he'd flash me a paralyzing smile which arrested my attention. He was physically fit, so his amazing body always captured my glaze.  I couldn't help but stare at his muscles underneath his wet shirt. A girl like me had never experienced someone like him. I found myself daydreaming about him even when I wasn't at work so I decided to show him my interest. It reminded me of my efforts with Quinton except I didn't use pizza shaped erasers. Instead I put on makeup, a squirt of Exclamation perfume and made sure his towels were fresh from the dryer.

Unfortunately he never caught my bait; we still only exchanged smiles.
That's when I decided to take it up a notch. I carefully wrote my number on a small sticky and taped it to the back of his student ID. When he came to return his towel, my hands shook as I handed him the ID. He smiled and shoved it into his pocket without even looking at it. Geezus! What now?! I stood there speechless as he strutted out of the building.

I swore to the entire world that I’d never step foot back in that building but I was quickly reminded by the grumble in my stomach that I was broke and desperately needed money. So I went to work but decided to avoid the counter during both hours of Lee's arrival and departure. Just my luck that day he came early. When I saw his silhouette moving my way my eyes vigorously searched the room for a place to hide. It was too late.

"Did you put your number on the back of my ID?" His voice was so smooth and confident it caused me freeze. I wanted to yell out "YES!!!," but instead I just stared at him.

It took a while before I managed to nod my head and squeaked out a "yes."  "Okay, I just wanted to know that it was actually you before I called." He flashed his same delicious smile and walked away. 

It seemed like forever before he called, meanwhile I was hanging up on Carlton like he was a bill collector.  When he finally did call we talked for hours and the conversation was everything I'd imagined. It was my first inclination that we were destined to be together. Before either of us realized it, we were tied at the hip. The only problem was that we hadn't made any formal commitments to each other. This provided an awkward position because it was too early to set a status but soon enough to know that I didn't want to see him with another girl. So one night, after having a wonderful time with Lee, I made an emotional decision and decided to start dating other guys... at least until he made us official. 

I needed to protect my own heart for once and for all.