Certainly not

Life has a funny way of proving you wrong about everything you were once so certain. I was certain Karin was confused when she called my boyfriend hers. Mostly because I had used every scintilla of his non- thuggish time playing his wifey... without the ring. The fact that I knew all of his friends and family increased my sense of security in our relationship. So when I found a picture of him and her I convinced myself that it was nothing more than a family photo. Yet, I immediately felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The feeling intensified as soon as I looked into his eyes. They held the same look that most toddlers have when they soil their clean pampers right after being taken off of the potty. A look combined with the fear of the consequences for being honest competing with the desire to remove the uncomfortable wetness in their pants. Carlton looked more pathetic then a potty training toddler as he tried to explain away the evidence of his infidelity. However, like most women, I knew that he was feeding me lies. When GOD created man, HE knew that we would need an internal lie detector in order to stay on top of things. So long before our exit from the womb, HE gifted us with a sixth sense specially designed to detect when our man is lying- even before he utters a word. Unfortunately, we don't normally use this gift until it’s too late and our hearts are shattered into pieces.

I'm certain I'd still be dealing with Carlton's inevitable drama if it weren't for my going away to college.  But once I touched down on campus, my mind was blown by the plethora of masculine options. The college boys made Carlton look like a cartoon character from the old Nickelodeon Show "Ren and Stimpy." They were much better in every sense. However, Carlton didn't care; he refused to give up and demonstrated this by calling me every day. Each conversation started out different but would always end the same with me telling him it was over. There was only one person whose call I was waiting.

His name was Lee and initially all I could remember was that he was fine. I first noticed him after picking up a part time job at the university's athletic gym to make extra cash. Within a few days I had his schedule memorized and made certain I was at the towel counter to hand him a towel before he hit the basketball court. Like a stalker, I knew when his game was over so I would resume my position back at the counter and anxiously wait for his return. For months we never even spoke but our eyes always connected longer than usual. Each time, whether he was coming or going, he'd flash me a paralyzing smile which arrested my attention. He was physically fit, so his amazing body always captured my glaze.  I couldn't help but stare at his muscles underneath his wet shirt. A girl like me had never experienced someone like him. I found myself daydreaming about him even when I wasn't at work so I decided to show him my interest. It reminded me of my efforts with Quinton except I didn't use pizza shaped erasers. Instead I put on makeup, a squirt of Exclamation perfume and made sure his towels were fresh from the dryer.

Unfortunately he never caught my bait; we still only exchanged smiles.
That's when I decided to take it up a notch. I carefully wrote my number on a small sticky and taped it to the back of his student ID. When he came to return his towel, my hands shook as I handed him the ID. He smiled and shoved it into his pocket without even looking at it. Geezus! What now?! I stood there speechless as he strutted out of the building.

I swore to the entire world that I’d never step foot back in that building but I was quickly reminded by the grumble in my stomach that I was broke and desperately needed money. So I went to work but decided to avoid the counter during both hours of Lee's arrival and departure. Just my luck that day he came early. When I saw his silhouette moving my way my eyes vigorously searched the room for a place to hide. It was too late.

"Did you put your number on the back of my ID?" His voice was so smooth and confident it caused me freeze. I wanted to yell out "YES!!!," but instead I just stared at him.

It took a while before I managed to nod my head and squeaked out a "yes."  "Okay, I just wanted to know that it was actually you before I called." He flashed his same delicious smile and walked away. 

It seemed like forever before he called, meanwhile I was hanging up on Carlton like he was a bill collector.  When he finally did call we talked for hours and the conversation was everything I'd imagined. It was my first inclination that we were destined to be together. Before either of us realized it, we were tied at the hip. The only problem was that we hadn't made any formal commitments to each other. This provided an awkward position because it was too early to set a status but soon enough to know that I didn't want to see him with another girl. So one night, after having a wonderful time with Lee, I made an emotional decision and decided to start dating other guys... at least until he made us official. 

I needed to protect my own heart for once and for all.