Hot sauce

When I first came around the corner I could barely see through the glare from the light shining off the TV. But she was so gorgeous that even Stevie Wonder could see her beauty. She laid on the couch underneath the same blanket that once held me. I felt my sadness grow as I got closer to her.  I'd never seen her before. Her Blasian skin was so smooth it reminded me of an Oil of Olay commercial. Her dark hair was as shiny as a black diamond and swept down her shoulders unto the couch. I really wanted to just walk away; I didn't want to lose my pride nor show my pain especially when faced with such beauty and perfection. But when she spoke name my heart went up in flames. Although I didn't know her, I knew she definitely knew me. The rage inside of me grew from the sound of her sultry voice and before she could finish her statement I hit her. It wasn't a normal girly hit; there was no hair pulling or scratching. This was a mortal combat type of blow; a Holyfield one hitter quitter. I mustered up every ounce of frustration, anger, disappointment and grief that I'd ever felt in my entire life and put it behind one punch.  I wanted her to feel the pain running through my veins, I wanted to destroy her beauty.

That one punch only made me more angry. I went in for a second blow but was swept up from behind by Lee. He started dragging me back towards the front door.  I stiffened my entire body and fell into a dead weight. When he realized that he wasn't able get me down the hallway, he pinned me against the wall and gave Kimora Simmons a chance to run. How long has this been going on? How could he do this to me...to us.  My eyes viciously scanned the room searching for where she was went.

"Calm down," His voice was stern but calm.

 He moved in closer and tried to look me in the eyes. I didn't want to look at him, he disgusted me so instead I stared at the ceiling. Caught in my line of sight was his wooden fraternity paddle hanging above my head. It reminded me of how long I'd been faithful to him...how long I'd been patient. I struggled to get away from him. He tightened his grip around my entire body and tried to pull me away from the wall towards the door. 

"You need to leave."

Every word he said incited me and heated the inside of my body. Asshole. My love for him was lost in that moment. I slid my arm away from his grip then dug my nails deep into his face, dragging them downward like his side chick did when she keyed my car.   I wanted to destroy him. He grabbed his face, and I grabbed his paddle. I swung it as hard as I could and narrowly missed his head. While he regained his composure I walked around as if I owned the place. Like an 1800's monochrome silent film, the image of me flickered across the dimly lit walls as I searched the room.

"Where are you? You wanna talk now...come on out." I knew she hadn't left the apartment but somehow she had disappeared. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw his shadow rushing back towards me.

"Its over," He said. "Get out before I call the police."  

 I stood there staring at him like Carrie on her prom night.

So many thoughts were running through my head that none of them made any sense.  I  began to replay all of the years of drama that led up to this moment.  All of the games...all of the women... all of the lies...all of the sleepless nights..all of the times he made me feel like I was crazy. And now he wanted ME to leave.

"I'm serious, get out! I'm done."

His words pulled me away from my thoughts and immediately turned on my psycho switch. Ladies, let's be honest, we all have the capability of going from a pretty little kitty to a raging Siberian tiger in a manner of moments. However, there are typically only two things which initiate these animalistic behaviors; matters of the heart i.e. our children or our men. If you've never went completely crazy over a man, you haven't quite lived. It takes a certain level of vulnerability to love and trust a man on such a level.

Men, I must pause in order to give you a good word of advice. If you ever break your lady's heart and want to break it off-first play it cool. Whatever you do,  do not break up with her until you are in a safe place. Only then should you tell her it's over. Afterwards make sure to lock the doors and disconnect your phone for at least three days. From that point forward proceed with caution, who knows what she will do next.

That night I lost myself somewhere between the love and the lies and became a Siberian tiger ready to kill.  I replied to him in a whisper.

"I'll leave when I'm ready and I'm not ready. So call the police." 

 He stood there waiting to see if I was serious which I confirmed by my actions. Immediately, I began swinging the paddle at every object I could find.

Initially, I tried to hit him but instead put a hole in the wall where he was standing. After that I became so determined to hurt him that I swung and shattered every mirror in sight. Every time he came close I hit him, busted  another wall,  broke a glass or destroyed an object. For over forty-five minutes me and my psychotic animalistic mentality destroyed his entire place. However, after a while I got tired and dropped the paddle which he saw as a sign of surrender. He reached in to grab it and without hesitation, I hit him.

 Who was I?  I didn't even recognize myself. Something had broken inside of me. It wasn't until my friends from the party came looking for me that the saga ended. When they arrived I was still in my psychotic state and eventually had  to be carried out; ironically, it was across the back of Mr. Thursday's brother. Just great.

My anger didn't subside once outside but simply transferred to my next victim: the neighbor. Awakened by all of the commotion, he opened his door as I was being carried out. When he saw me flailing my arms and yelling obscenities at Lee he took the opportunity to insert himself into the situation by loudly yelling

"Shut the hell up!

I'm sure he was tired and possibly had to be at work in the morning but in the midst of my psychotic episode, his frustration work to his demise. Without thinking I swung and punched him in the face just like I'd done Lee's beauty. 

"Now you're going to jail," he turned around and slammed the door.