Foolish heart

I held the phone in my hand for a few moments before placing it back on the receiver. My soul felt empty and confused.  Part of me wanted to laugh at my bad luck but the other half of me wanted to cry. I'd simply only created a mess of my circumstances trying to beat love at its own game. Lee clearly wasn't going to make me his girlfriend despite the fact that I'd already given him a mortgage to my heart without any type of down payment. So what now? Should I call him? Perhaps its safer to just put my thoughts down in a letter? No that's too deep! Besides I'd been waiting for him for almost a year, this was his fault. He had plenty of time to make me his. The thoughts in my mind were competing like Serena and Venus in a tennis match until I eventually slipped off into a Boone's Farm induced slumber.

When my alarm went off the next morning I had almost forgotten the incident with Lee. I stumbled into the bathroom to get ready for class and was in mid morning-pee stream when it hit me! Damn! My troubles hadn't disappeared within the night. What am I gonna do?   I desperately needed to talk to him without actually making it obvious that I wanted to talk to him. I learned at a early age that it was a females job to make matters involving the heart much more complicated that necessary. So instead of grabbing the phone and calling him, I reached into my closet and pulled out my cutest casual outfit. It was time to plan an accidental 'bump-in' to him while on campus. Once he saw how fly I looked, he'd have no choice but to talk to me.

Unfortunately, I didn't see Lee on campus so I kept my 'bump-in' plan intact for the following day and headed home.  Meanwhile, my Thursday beau called and asked to come over.  When I opened the door I was greeted by his tall dark stature holding a long stemmed rose. A smile ran over my face immediately. Outside of my prom corsage and the colorful carnations handed out as Valentine's grams in high school,  I'd never been given flowers from any guy.  His smile arrested my attention as I stared at his large lips which held in pearly white teeth; I deeply desired to kiss him just to verify my suspicious of their softness. While handing me the rose, he grabbed me into his arms and pulled me close. My head hit the hardness of his chest sending me into thoughts of his naked body pressed against mine.

"I wanna ask you something."

 His face turned serious which pulled me back into reality.

  "I want you to be my girlfriend. I think you are special and love the way I feel when I'm around you. I know that I want you and I can tell that you want me too...sooo lets make it official."

He leaned in to kiss me but I quickly pulled away.

Awww hell! Wait. One. Minute...how ironic was this? Was I being set up? Did he know Lee? I started to get nervous until I looked into his eyes and realized he was serious.  I really liked Mr Thursday; he was sexy, he was fun and he even had a way of sending a tingling sensation up my legs without saying a word but- he wasn't Lee and I couldn't pretend he was.  Think quick.  I began to fidget within the silence.  But my guardian angel was watching my plight and helped me along the way. Out of nowhere, I instantly recalled when his brother gave us specific instructions to NOT toy with the idea of dating after introducing us to each other.  I didn't want to hurt Mr. Thursday so I blamed it on his brother and reminded him of what was previously said to both of us. I explained to him that I could never risk losing my friendship and wouldn't be his girlfriend. First he was understanding and insisted on talking to his brother so that everything would be okay. When I refused his efforts he got sad which quickly changed to anger then to arrogance. I watched him go through a range of emotions like a chameleon crossing a rainbow. After a few moments of silence he finally exploded.

"Well this is a waste of my time. I refuse to invest myself in anything that's going nowhere. Its your loss." He walked out slamming the door behind him.

I thought about Mr. Thursday the rest of the week. I really wasn't certain if I'd made the right choice. My bump-in plan with Lee never worked and the fact that I had two men upset at me pulled me into a small bout of depression. I felt like an idiot waiting around for Lee to make me his girlfriend while Thursday was willing and ready to give me what I deserved. Scattered throughout my thoughts were his last words. I wont invest myself in anything that's going nowhere. He was right.  It was those words that gave me the courage to finally call Lee.

It felt like the phone rang forever but it was barely on the second ring when I almost hung up. I heard his voice answer as I lowered the phone.

"Hello? "

Here we go.