Society
has done a great job brainwashing us all to believe good women partake in
a defined set of rules. Mind your manners. Not too much cleavage! Cross
your legs. Be a good girl. Don't sleep around. Find yourself a good man. Cook.
Clean. Unlike the acceptable behavior that is attached to our
male counter parts with casual dating, women are considered to be promiscuous
and dirty when they assume the exact same role.
I was willing to assume the risk of
the negative stereotypes in order to avoid another heartbreak. Truth
is I was willing to do almost anything in order to avoid that type of pain
again. After Carlton's shenanigans with Karin I was
constantly questioning my own judgment and spent way too much time
trying to determine how I became the 'cheat on type.' My goal was to make
life with Lee different by dating multiple guys and preventing myself
from looking too available or desperate. Regardless, I had no plans on really
taking the others seriously and made it a point to always refer to them as "just
a friend." However, when I decided on dating multiple men, I had no
idea that there would be four of them; it just fell in my lap that
way.
Initially,
I was having a good time being pursued by more than one guy but it quickly
became very time-consuming and resulted in me spending less time with Lee who I
was hoping would ask me to be his girl. Instead of dropping down my count, I became creative and prioritized each beau according to the day of the week. Since
Lee was my true interest I made myself available to him every Friday and
Saturday and the remaining guys consumed the other days during the week. That
left only Sunday as my true day of rest. Occasionally, things got a little
complicated when Lee started asking questions about my unavailability during
the week, but I blamed it on my dire need to study. It wasn't a complete lie, sometimes I
actually would study before hanging out with one of the fellas.
After a few
weeks on my dating extravaganza I was not only becoming an expert at my social
life calendar, I was actually beginning to like my Thursday gent. However,
just as I was getting a full grasp on my new life, someone blew over my castle.
Her name was Roshawn. No, no, no. I know exactly what you are
thinking-she was not another girl who would steal my man. Roshawn was my dear
friend; such a sweet and gentle soul who loved to have a good time. We shared
the same majors and had much in common so we studied together several times a
week. One Sunday night after studying we opened a bottle
of Strawberry Boone's Farm to my demise. One drink led to another and
before I knew it we were both giggling like schoolgirls on a Merry-go-round.
After my bladder was full of the ghetto punch, I ran down the hall to the
bathroom.
Then
the phone rang.
"Roshawn get the phone." I heard her stumble towards the
phone then answer it.
"Who is it...tell them I will
call them right back"
I was hollering at her from the
bathroom so instead of coming to the door she hollered back down the hall. When
I heard what she was yelling I jumped off of the toilet so fast I nearly
tripped over my own pants. It was apparent she had no idea who was on the phone
by her drunken guessing game of loudly calling out each beaux name from my
Monday through Thursday crew.
By
the time I made it back to the living room, she had already listed everyone
except Lee while still holding the phone in her hand. I gave her a death stare
as I grabbed the phone, to which she realized her tragic mistake and whispered,
"Oops....I’m so sorry."
In our Boone’s Farm induced state of
mind, we both thought it was a whisper but soon found out it was almost as loud
as her recount of my four men. I really wanted to just hang up the
phone and act as if it never happened but another part of me
was desperately hoping it wasn't Lee. I didn't want it to be Thursday
either but in order to find out I had to answer the call. I paused then pulled
the phone up to my ear.
"Hello?" I tried to sound
cool even though my throat was dry and my stomach was churning.
"Wow, I'm sorry too. Enjoy
yourself," the phone hung up before I could respond but not without first realizing who held the other end.
It was Lee.
